“Journey’s bring power and love back into you. If you can’t go somewhere, move in the passageways of the self. They are like shafts of light, always changing and you change when you explore them.” – Rumi –
Time For You
A few weeks ago I turned the big 3-0. No longer in my 20’s but now in my Thriving Thirties (as I’m choosing to think of them). I thought for a while what did I want to do to celebrate what is usually classed as a milestone birthday. Do I have a big bash? Do I have a girls day? Do I just go for a meal on the day? Or do nothing?
Now I’m not going to lie, I could never do absolutely nothing, you’ve got to celebrate another year around the sun, right?
I’m also not usually one for big parties or drinking, so I thought I’m not too fussed about a big bash. What could I do instead that would be a celebration and fill up my cup at the same time? Take me out of mum mode for a short while. It seemed obvious to me what to do when I started thinking… SPA DAY! One of my favourite luxuries in this world is a massage and always has been. What’s yours?
Excitement ensued and I started to plan, messaging my friends to ask if they would love to come with me. Even better would they like to all stay in a house the night before. The answer was an astounding yes from most (YAY). After a bit of research I found The Belfry to be the best option for us, the packages were fab, included afternoon tea and didn’t break the bank, plus I had received lots of recommendations for there too.
Finding a house to accommodate us all that didn’t break the bank however (or would fit us) was a small mission. But one I didn’t give up, finally I found a lovely little house not too far from home and not too far from The Belfry. Perfect!
I was so excited to have some me time, time to relax and not have to think about anything else. Every now and again the mum guilt would creep in (you may have read my previous blog on mum guilt), would big sis get upset that I was spending the night away? Would baby S struggle without me all day? (This was the longest I was ever going to be away from her, previously it’s been 45 minutes max).
What if she wouldn’t take the bottle? She likes to sleep on me, what if dad can’t get her to sleep? So many things that ultimately I didn’t need to worry or feel guilty about. We are all entitled to have time for us, it’s actually healthy for us to make sure we do and fill our own cups up.
All in all it was such a lovely weekend. We stayed in a quirky house in a little village (just watch the stairs ?), relaxed, ate food and of course had a couple of Prosecco’s :p followed by a day of bliss at The Belfry. An inner calm treatment, a delicious afternoon tea and experiencing Fire & Ice. What a way to step out of my comfort zone, stepping into an ice cold shower (albeit I only lasted about 5 seconds ha) and tipping an ice cold bucket over myself BUT you also get the bliss of sauna’s, steam rooms and more.
A really cool experience if you haven’t done it before. It was also a reminder to me that as mums we don’t do things like that enough. Now a spa day might not be your thing, however whatever that thing is that lights up your soul, do it and do it more often. Not once in a blue moon, make it regular and make it a non-negotiable.
A few weeks later … party time ?
At first I thought, ‘na I won’t have a big celebration, I never do, who would even come’ ? but hey, we only turn 30 once don’t we? And why not drag the celebrations out over a few weeks… last minute decision let’s party!! The hardest thing about a last minute party, finding a venue that has availability ha.
I’m so glad I decided to have a party, even though there were ups and downs on the day, I got to dance to some of my favourite songs (one of my fave things to do) and celebrate all over again.
You might be wondering why I’m telling you about my 30th celebrations.. well I want to get across that sometimes we need to do the things that fill up OUR cups. Do the things we love again. It’s often found that after having children you can get a bit lost in your own sense of being and just become the mum, the wife, the caregiver 24/7.
What lights you up?
What is your favourite way to relax?
What did you used to enjoy before you became a mum?
I’m going to leave you to think about these questions and with a little quote. I’d love you to share your answers here or in The Mumpreneur Diaries FB Community.
“To the mama who hasn’t felt like herself in a while, I know how difficult it is when you catch yourself not being you. Be patient, your sparkle will return and you will shine again”