Mum guilt is real!
Almost 90% of us feel it at some point, with over 20% of us feeling it all/most of the time. Isn’t that crazy?? Unfortunately we now live in a society, especially with social media where we compare ourselves to other mums journeys and other mums children. This is a failure of our society & just another added pressure.
We all feel mum guilt in different ways and for different things. It seems like a part of the journey. After chatting to fellow mummy’s there are lots of different things we feel mum guilt for.
Some mums feel guilty for not breastfeeding their babies, while some mums feel guilty they didn’t breastfeed long enough. Some mums feel guilty their child eats too much “junk” food while some mums feel guilty they never let their child have a “treat”. Some mums feel guilty for doing something just for them, while some mums feel guilty for not “looking after themselves”. Heck, I sometimes feel guilty for having to disrupt babies sleep to collect her sister from school or taking her to different things.
One of the main reasons I hear of mums feeling mum guilt is when you return to work. You are excited to be back in adult company, having time to think about something other than your children (you’ll still think about them all day though). But… maybe I should be home with them… they might be missing me… I’m their mum I should be looking after them… the reasons can go on but trust me mummy’s. You do what’s best for you and your family. Children love to socialise at nursery and do new things, there is always a positive.
Working for yourself can make this even harder, especially if you work from home. I know this will be me in a few months time, working from home but knowing I need some time to 100% concentrate on work rather than being pulled in all directions. A benefit for you, your clients and your little one.
Another, prioritising you over them. It is such a hard one as a mum, but something we all need to do from time to time. As much as we put their needs before our own, we must do this for ourselves too. We need to fill our cups up and let the overflow fill everyone else up.
I don’t know if you would class it as mum guilt. It’s a funny one I feel, but I often feel guilty about the mum journey I’ve had. When I talk to or hear of others stories about the struggles in their journey, whether it’s with getting pregnant, breastfeeding, their mental health or anything really, I feel like I’m bragging if I say I’ve not had ‘issues’ with any of it. We all have our own journey and I realise that.
I am beyond grateful that I’ve not had to go through some of the heart aches and stresses I hear about, don’t get me wrong it hasn’t been a plain sailing journey eIther. I would love to know if you relate to this at all? It’s even crossed my mind when thinking about The Mumpreneur Diaries.. who am I to create this journey? What value can I give to other mums or mums to be if I’ve not experienced certain things? Now I know that’s not the case, and it’s just a negative thought I need to deal with. This is also a key part of this community, it’s open and honest and raw, nothing is off limits.
Remember if you start comparing yourself to other mums you don’t know (or even do know) on social media, STOP! What you see on social media is often just a snapshot & only showing the ‘good’ bits. We all go through ups and downs on our parenting journey. And we all have things we feel guilty for.
The important is to talk. Reach out to a friend (or in our community) and share, get it off your chest. I can promise you most likely aren’t the only one feeling that way!